


Broken

by Chevalier_Barthelemy



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anal Sex, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Blow Jobs, Daddy Kink, Dom Number Six | Ben Hargreeves, Double Penetration, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Kink Negotiation, Light BDSM, M/M, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy in an Adult Body, Number Six | Ben Hargreeves is alive, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Polygamy, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pseudo-Incest, Rough Sex, Smut, Tentacle Sex, They all need a hug!, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Sex, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:20:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29618400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chevalier_Barthelemy/pseuds/Chevalier_Barthelemy
Summary: They were all broken in their own way. Five lived in a post-apocalyptic world for thirty-seven years, Ben spent more than half of his life dead, and Vanya was led to believe there was nothing special about her.After returning to their timeline, none of them know what to do, how to even lead normal lives after everything they’ve been through. Good thing they had each other.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Number Six | Ben Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves/Number Six | Ben Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves/Number Six | Ben Hargreeves
Kudos: 31





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fiveyaaas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/gifts).



> Another Benfiveya fic for the wonderful and talented Fiveyaaas!!!!

Eyes narrowed, Five stared at the numbers on the chalkboard before him. His lips formed into a tight line. Dark bags made his eyes appear sunken, and the paleness made him seem sick. Between his fingers he held a stub of chalk, his hand covered in its dusty remnants. Even his hair had chalk dust on it from having pushed it back too many times. He wore his pyjamas, sweatpants and a white shirt. 

It was nighttime, but despite the darkness, he hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights of the small library. The moonlight helped him see just fine. After all, he spent thirty-seven years with nothing more than the moonlight to help him see at night and the occasional fire. In fact, artificial light irritated him, gave him a headache. He still wasn’t quite used to it, despite all the years since he got out of the post-apocalyptic world. 

One year, that’s how long it had been since they finally returned to their proper timeline after all the pit stops they had made. Ten years since he left the barren world that had been his home and his prison for thirty-seven years, and it was like just yesterday that he left that place.

Time heals everything he would often hear, but that was a lie. Time didn’t heal everything. 

After getting back to their timeline and seeing that they averted the apocalypse, the first thing he did was work with the commission to get himself an older body. They succeeded in the end. It wasn’t his fifty-eight-year-old body, but at least it wasn’t his thirteen-year-old one. After that, he worked tirelessly with the commission, and interestingly enough, Klaus to bring their brother back to life. It wasn’t easy, but in the end; they did the impossible. Ben was back, and they were all finally reunited after seventeen years. 

After Ben’s return, nothing of interest happened, except for the lawyer that came to them, saying that their father put them all in his will. When they received their inheritance, something that truly shocked them all, the first thing they did was buy an apartment, a sort of headquarters for the family seeing as the mansion was destroyed. It cost them a pretty penny, but they all had money to spare and then some. They didn’t all need to live there, but it was nice to have a home they could all come back to. During the first year, they all lived in it though. But in time they all moved out, starting with Allison and Luther, then Diego and Klaus. Now it was just Vanya, Ben and him that remained. And he suspected he would be next. Not that he disliked living in the large apartment, it’s just that it was growing awkward. 

He wasn’t sure when it started, and it almost felt like he missed something, but after they brought Ben back to life, he and Vanya grew closer. 

He would catch them, trading sideways glances that grew into something more. The way they would brush each other every time they walked past each other, or the amount of time they spent together talking. It was odd. Ben and Vanya weren’t super close as children as far as he could remember, that was always he and Vanya. But that seemed to have changed now that they were adults. Now they both just seemed to click, and he did his best to not let the jealousy get to him.

He was happy for them, they both had similar temperaments. They both struggled with the dangers of their powers. Ben was also caring, and gentle, exactly what Vanya needed. Someone to care about her, to take things slow and shower her with all the love she deserved. Unlike him, who was neurotic, and was pretty certain he didn’t pocess a romantic bone in his body. After everything she went through, she didn’t need someone like him. 

During the first few months in the apartment, Five wasn’t sure if they were together. It was after he caught them making out rather enthusiastically in the kitchen one day, her legs wrapped around him as Ben bucked against her, that he got his answer, that and their extracurricular activities at night. 

Despite being a new couple, they were rather quiet in their lovemaking and he knew it was because they were being mindful of him who slept next door, but sometimes it slipped. He would sometimes hear Vanya groaning Ben’s name, or Ben giving out a hoarse moan as he no doubts climaxed. He was even sure that Ben unleashed the Horror in bed, seeing as he heard the strange sound of it from time to time. And although all that should have irked him, seeing as they didn’t let him sleep, his pants would grow tight around him from his hard-on. Something he was forced to take care of from time to time.

The point was, the time to move out was approaching. He couldn’t keep stepping into their privacy. He wasn’t sure where he would go, but he would figure it out. He was always alone anyway.

Five formed his lips into a tight line as he continued to write.

Yes, his sister and brother’s love life kept him up at night, but it was nothing compared to the nightmares that would plague him. After ten years of being out of the barren wasteland that was his home, he thought he would be over it. He wasn’t. Things only seemed to get worse, and he did not know how to fix them. It wasn’t like he could take a magic pill and make it all go away, as much as he wished he could. So he did the only thing he knew how to do, he buried himself in research to keep himself busy. If his mind was too exhausted to keep him awake, then it wouldn’t have the energy to come up with a nightmare. Sometimes that worked, but when it didn’t, he sought the next best solution. 

Bending down, he took the glass of scotch from the table, a half-empty bottle stood beside it. Taking a sip, he placed it back on the table and returned to his work. There was a buzz in his head from the alcohol, but he was nowhere near drunk, at least not yet. He wasn’t in a hurry; the night was still young. 

“Five?” A soft, familiar voice asked, sounding groggy. The chalk froze against the board. He hadn’t even heard Ben come in. “It’s four in the morning, what are you doing up?” 

Five continued to write equations, his back to Ben.

“Working,” he answered vaguely. 

“Working on what? You don’t have a job.”

Forming his lips into a hard line, he continued to write. He hoped that if he kept ignoring him, Ben might leave him alone. 

“A bit late to be drinking, don’t you think?”

Looking over his shoulder, Five raised a brow as he watched Ben, sitting on the backrest of the armchair, wearing a crumpled dress shirt that hung open and shorts. 

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

If it had been any of their siblings, they would have met his hostility with the hostility of their own, but Ben, much like Vanya, was different. He simply tilted his head and crossed his arms.

“Come on Five, what’s this really about?” He asked gently. 

If Ben had scoffed at him as all their other siblings did, he wouldn’t have reacted. He was used to dealing with contempt and anger, but he wasn’t used to dealing with understanding. It made him feel odd, out of place.

“Nothing,” he mumbled, continuing his writing, unsure what he was writing anymore, just that it helped with distracting him. 

Ben snorted.

“You know, you two might not get along, but you and Klaus are so alike in so many ways.” 

Five froze, his finger tightened against the chalk to the point he thought it might snap. There was the anger he preferred, the one he knew how to deal with. 

“I’m not like him,” he hissed. 

Ben hummed as if considering it.

“You’re right, Klaus actually confronted his trauma and has his addiction under control. Meanwhile, you don’t seem to even realize there’s something wrong.” 

A fiery sensation grew inside him, rolling around in his gut. Despite what he liked everyone to believe, he cared about all of his siblings, even though they all seemed to have the attention span of goldfish. However, that didn’t mean he enjoyed being compared to them, much less Klaus. A bum and a junkie, two things he was not. 

“Don’t,” Five warned. 

Silence permeated the space until Ben sighed, deciding to switch the topic. 

“Look, I just want you to talk to me, I can’t help you if you don’t.” 

Five shook his head and let out a sardonic chuckle. 

“Who says I need your help?”

“The fact that you can’t get a decent sleep without drowning yourself in alcohol?”

He didn’t respond to that; it surprised him that Ben knew why he was drinking so much. Their other siblings would blame it on his tendency to overwork himself, or even his liking for alcohol. Ben though, much like Vanya, saw right through him. It made him feel uncertain. 

“You know, with how smart you are sometimes I forget what a total idiot you are,” Ben mumbled with disbelief. 

Once again, silence befell them, broken once more by a deep breath from Ben.

“Come on Five, we could always talk when we were kids.” 

For the longest time, Five said nothing. What Ben said was true, they did often talk when they were kids. Of course, he usually went to Vanya, but there were times when he didn’t. Mostly after a mission, unable to talk about the gruesome details about it with innocent Vanya, not wanting to scare her away. It was in those times when it was just he and Ben that he could talk about their superhero lives without being judged. Maybe that’s what he needed now, someone to talk to without being judged. 

Letting out a long sigh, Five walked up to the desk and threw the chalk on it before he sat on its surface.

“You’re right, I can’t sleep,” Five growled, his fingers digging into the desk. “Every time I so much as close my eyes I’m back there, just-”

He trailed off. His nose flared.

“It was _easier_ when I was with the commission, I always had something keeping me busy. Something to keep me from thinking about it. But now, everything’s too…”

“Calm,” Ben finished for him and Five nodded, bowing his head, eyes fixed on the floor. The strange feeling returned, making him feel uneasy. He wasn’t one to share, never was. 

“I know how you feel,” Ben murmured. 

Despite knowing that he was just being supportive, trying to make him feel like he wasn’t the only one suffering, Five couldn’t help but feel the fiery sensation in his gut make a comeback.

Five scoffed, anger rearing its ugly face. 

“How could you possibly know how I feel?” He asked, a dangerous smile on his lips. “You don’t know what it’s like being stuck in a barren world on your own for thirty-seven years.”

His brother remained silent. 

He knew he wasn’t angry at Ben, that it was just a defensive mechanism to prevent himself from showing further vulnerability. He didn’t want anyone, much less his family, knowing how weak he was, how affected he was by his past. Not when they needed him to be strong. Not to mention that he was older and wiser, he should have stuff like this figured out by now. 

Ben’s face remained passive, not a spark of anger in him, it made him feel like the asshole that he was. 

“You’re right, I don’t.” Ben shrugged. “I don’t know what spending thirty-seven years on my own is like. Sure, I spent sixteen years dead, but at least I had Klaus.”

“Honestly, I don’t even know how you survived that long without going insane.” 

Five blinked, not having expected that. 

He wanted to tell Ben that he was insane, at least that’s what it seemed. Normal, sane people didn’t have such realistic nightmares as he had, they didn’t have episodes where their minds were transported back to a barren world, where everything felt so real and realistic, he thought he had never left in the first place. 

“I think I am.” 

“What’s that?” 

“Insane,” he answered and shrugged, gazing down at his linked fingers. 

“Aren’t we all?” Ben asked, giving him a soft smile. 

Five couldn’t help but pull the edges of his lips into a small, genuine smile. For the longest time, they just sat there in silence, making him uneasy. With someone that often said he enjoyed working in utter silence, Five disliked it, seeing as it reminded him too much of the barren world. 

“So... you and Vanya?”

Ben’s lips pulled into a shy smile that had his chest feeling like it was being squeezed.

“Vanya and I,” Ben mumbled, sounding incredulous and fond. 

“I take it you’re a couple now?” 

Ben nodded, his cheeks reddened as he gazed at the floor, no doubt embarrassed. It made Five’s smile broaden. Despite everything, he was happy for them, he really was.

“To be honest with you, I never saw that coming,” Five admitted, thinking back on all those times Ben chased after Klaus and Diego like a lost puppy, rarely paying attention to Vanya. 

For a moment he thought Ben would take that the wrong way, but when he smirked and nodded in agreement, his muscles relaxed. 

“Yea, honestly I never saw that coming either, but now it makes perfect sense.” Five watched as his eyes widened briefly. “Not that I never liked her, I just never thought we would be romantic, I mean, well-”

“It’s ok, I get it.”

Ben chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“I actually regret not having realized how alike we both were when we were kids. So many years wasted, it didn’t help that I was dead too,” he sighed, regret thick in his voice. He supposed he wasn’t the only one with regrets.

“You really love her, ugh?” Five asked, his voice soft, not trusting it not to betray his jealousy. 

Ben furrowed his brows, as if deep in thought.

“Yes, I do.” He paused and raised his eyes to him. “And I know you love her too.”

It was like someone had punched him straight in the stomach as panic spread through him. He thought he had been subtle about his fondness to her, for them, how could he have found out?

As if he knew what he was thinking, Ben shook his head.

“I’ve seen the way you look at us Five.”

“I don’t know-”

“Come on,” Ben cut him off. “You’re not exactly subtle.”

Five pursed his lips. Despite the rising panic, he was never one to coward away from anything, even his feelings. The cat was out of the bag, anyway. 

“So what if I do? I’m sure the sentiment is not reciprocated.”

Ben raised a brow.

“How do you know?”

For a while, they both just stared at each other.

“If you’re worried about me going after her, don’t. Contrary to popular belief, I know how to be a graceful loser.” Five waved his hand. “It was you that won her over, and I accept that. I won’t get in the way.”

Ben’s expression softened, a reaction he did not expect.

“That’s not what I’m worried about. I’m just saying that maybe this doesn’t have to be a competition.” 

Five wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but he shot him a smirk as he placed his hands inside his sweatpants pockets. 

“ _Everything_ in our family is a competition.” 

Ben shook his head adamantly.

“Not this.” 

Once again, they just stared at each other, a tense air hung above them. When Ben pushed himself off the armchair and walked up to him, Five arched a brow and watched him. He thought Ben just wanted to close some distance between them. But when he didn’t stop when he crossed his personal space, Five tensed up. Moving his legs apart, Ben more or less straddled him, looming over him, leaving Five to gaze up at him.

Out of all of their siblings on the team, Ben was always the shy, awkward one, always slouching, hiding away from cameras or blushing whenever the fans gushed about him. He always sort of went with the flow, rarely speaking up. So it made something coil within him as his throat went dry when he saw no traces of that shy, awkward teen before him, but a confident, almost sultry man. 

“You know, I think I know what you need,” Ben said, his voice deep, full of confidence. While Five, usually the one that was confident, fumbled with what to say. 

It was what felt like ages later that he gulped and spoke. 

“And what’s that?”

Ben didn’t answer right away as he took his chin between his fingers and roughly tilted his head back. The oddest part was that Five let him, his heart pounding in his chest. He often recoiled from skin-to-skin contact. 

“A way to relieve stress.”

Five wanted to ask how he would do that, even though he knew what Ben was implying. But Ben didn’t let him say anything further, not giving him the chance to make a snarky remark, or respond with sarcasm to protect himself from being vulnerable as he pressed their lips together. 

Five took a sharp breath through his nose. Not once did he expect Ben’s lip to be so rough, so demanding, he didn’t expect him to take his breath away in a mere second. 

In his life, despite the limited experience with sex and overall intimacy, he had always been the one in charge as he was with all things. With his partners, he always took the lead, always initiated, and now here he was, barely moving his lips as Ben roughly kissed him, controlling the intensity and everything about the kiss. Five couldn’t do anything but sit there, bracing himself against the desk as Ben grabbed a handful of his hair and roughly pulled him closer to him. It was a bit jarring, Ben’s roughness, the way he was pulling his hair from his roots when he didn’t so much as let anyone touch it. However, he couldn’t help but groan and yet he still didn’t respond to the kiss, leaving Ben to do most of the work.

He wanted to respond to the kiss, wanted to meld their lips together, wanted to give Ben as much as he was giving him, but he couldn’t. Deep down, although he loathed admitting it, he was afraid. Afraid of what this could mean, afraid of giving in to something when all his life he’d been fighting none stop. But most importantly, afraid of being vulnerable, even to someone he cared about deeply. 

Behind all that cocky and confident bravado, there was a boy that was still afraid. 

Feeling the hesitation, Ben partially moved his lips away from his.

“It’s ok Five,” Ben breathed, kissing his lips fervently. “You can let go, I’m not here to hurt you.” 

Ben separated their lips briefly to gaze into his blown wide eyes, which no doubt showed him how afraid he was. Brows softening, Ben pressed their foreheads together and closed his eyes. Five couldn’t help but do the same as their breaths mingled, creating a heady concoction.

“I would never hurt you. Never.” 

A hundred different emotions battled within him, unsure what exactly he was feeling. The only thing he knew was that he could trust Ben, and so he bit the bullet and pressed their lips together. This time he moved his lips against Ben’s. Of course, Ben continued to dominate the kiss, giving out a rough groan as he practically pushed him back against the desk as he swept his tongue inside his mouth. 

More and more the kiss became more heated as Five took hold of Ben’s shirt and pulled him to him, while Ben took a hold of anything he could grab, his hair, the back of his neck, his arm, his waist. Not once had Five been so invested in a kiss. He wasn’t much of a kisser, he just fucked those few strangers that he met at the commission and that’s that. So when the light of the library turned on, he froze solid as he was caught off guard, his eyes snapping open as he stared at Vanya standing by the door. Ben, however, didn’t stop as he moved his lips to his neck and sucked.

“Va-Vanya?” Five gasped, sounding more shocked than he ever had in his life. 

Pushing Ben back, Five guiltily stared at Vanya, realization hitting him like a truck.

How could he have done this to her? His best friend? Someone that suffered so much in her life already. He must be the worst kind of asshole. All he could think about was himself when Ben pressed their lips together, not considering what that would do to Vanya, what-

“You should have woken me up Ben,” Vanya pouted and Five stared at her dumbfounded. 

What?

Ben gave his neck one last suck as he unlatched his lips from it and grinned.

“You were pretty tired, I didn’t want to wake you up,” he hummed, not at all surprised by Vanya’s presence. In fact, he seemed to be the only one surprised. 

“You knew?” Five asked, breathless.

Vanya switched her attention from the back of Ben’s head to him, her expression soft. 

“Ben and I have talked about this for a while now.” 

He couldn’t help but feel betrayed. The ugly part of him thought that Ben had said all those things just so he could get inside his pants. He knew that wasn’t true, but he was a paranoid, cynical old man, he couldn’t help it. 

“I see, so you both have been talking about me being your personal sex toy behind my back?” He snapped.

Vanya’s eyes flashed with hurt, and he winced inwardly. He intended to mean to be mean to her. 

Ben roughly grabbed his chin and pulled his attention back to him. The usual, rebellious side of him was none existence as his heart fluttered upon being manhandled by Ben. 

“Be nice Five, you know that’s not true,” Ben chided. 

Five glowered at him, even though inside he wanted to keep hearing Ben's commanding voice. 

“Then _what_ do you want from me?”

Ben sighed, looking tired as he took a step back. 

“Nothing, we want nothing from you. We’re not the commission, we don’t have any evil ulterior motive. We just worry about you,” Ben murmured and placed their foreheads together again. “You’re our family, we care about you.” 

It was almost infuriating how the anger drained out of him from the contact. Five sealed his lips shut. He wanted to make some snarky, angry remark but bit the urge back. The fact that he didn’t want to hurt them prevented him from using his usual response. 

Before he could continue arguing, Ben closed the distance once more and placed a soft kiss on his lips, a complete contrast to the rough one from before. He wasn’t sure which one he liked better. 

Sliding his eyes close, Five lost sight of Vanya until he felt her behind him. Despite trusting her more than anyone, years of watching his own back caused him to tense up. He never could trust what he couldn’t see. 

Feeling his anxiety and tension grow, Ben took his bottom lip between his. 

“It’s ok,” Ben cooed, stroking the back of his neck. “It’s just Vanya, you know she would never hurt you either.” 

Vanya confirmed what Ben said by wrapping her small arms around him and placing a small kiss between his shoulder blades. 

“I’m right here, Five,” she murmured with her sweet as honey voice. Five couldn’t help but relax. 

For the longest time, he and Ben continued to kiss, slowly, languidly. He didn’t want this to end. It almost felt like some sort of dream come true. When Ben separated their lips, he had to bite back a whine. 

“Do you trust us?” Ben asked, softly, as if afraid that he would startle him.

A part of him wanted to shake his head, but he nodded instead, feeling a lot like a child at that moment. 

Almost as soon as he gave them the go-ahead, Vanya roamed her hands towards the string of his sweatpants. His breathing quickened, the muscles in his thighs seized up, realizing where this was going. 

“You can tell me to stop Five, we’re not forcing you,” Vanya said gently, placing another kiss on his shoulder this time. 

Chest heaving with how hard his breathing had grown, Five clenched his jaw as Vanya continued to play with the string. Just a hair away from where he wanted her to be. He wanted this, oh how he wanted it. He wanted to feel Vanya’s small, soft hands on him. Wanted to feel Ben’s mouth all over him. He never wanted it to stop. But there was still that part of him that knew he didn’t deserve this, that was still afraid. 

To hell with it.

Setting his jaw, he groaned against Ben’s lips and threw whatever doubt he had out the window. 

Giving her a small nod, Vanya didn’t need any further confirmation as she pulled the string, effortlessly undoing the tie. Slowly, not wanting to scare him off, she slipped her fingers partially through his waistband, grabbing a hold of his boxers and sliding them down his legs.

Five let out a groan as the cold air hit his heated skin. When Ben knelt before him, while Vanya grabbed his member, he nearly choked. 

“So beautiful,” Ben breathed, and Five never would have guessed that he wanted to be called beautiful in his entire life, as a fluttery feeling rose from his stomach. 

As Ben swallowed him whole, Five let out a guttural groan, and he tilted his head back. Behind him, Vanya stroked his chest, abs, arms. Sometimes she would stroke Ben’s full cheeks. 

With all the tender touches, despite Ben sucking him for what he’s worth, he couldn’t help but close his eyes tightly shut, his lips formed into an O. In all his years, he had felt nothing like this. He’d been sucked off before, but never like this. He’d never been touched like this. It left him wanting more and terrified. 

What if this wasn’t real? What if this, all of this, was just him going insane after all those years of isolation? What if his mind was playing tricks on him? If he woke up the next morning, only to realize that he was alone? He didn’t know if he could function properly if that was the case. He wasn’t strong enough to lose them again. 

Chest rising and falling, he hyperventilated and not from arousal. His throat grew dry, sweat rolled down his body. It was too much.

“STOP!” 

Absolutely everything froze, even him. As he struggled to catch his breath, it took him a second to realize that it was him who had said that. As if he had burned them, Ben and Vanya instantly let go of him, staring at him with wide eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked, his voice thick with concern. 

“Did we do something?” Asked Vanya, panic clear in her voice.

Breathing laboured, he shook his head. 

“No, no, it wasn’t you, it was…”

He gritted his teeth closely, unable to continue. That fucking voice in his head, the one that sounded a lot like their father, kept telling him he was being weak by being vulnerable.

His ear rang, his heart pumping even faster. 

“I need to go,” was all he said as he spatial jumped to his room. Running away like the damn coward he was. But wasn’t that the running theme of his life? Running away from things. Running away from home, not because he wanted to try time travel, but because he wasn’t strong enough to stand it anymore. Running away from the commission, pretending that he wasn’t a murderer. And now he was running away from the people he cared the most about. 

As he landed in his room, he slid his pants and boxers back on and stared into the darkness. What the hell had he done? Why did he have to tell them to stop? Why did he have to ruin it? Why was he so weak? He was the commission’s greatest assassin, a murderer, the only functioning adult in his family. He couldn’t be weak. God, the panic in the eyes...

As he did when he was a kid, he found his outlet for his anger as he grabbed the first breakable thing he could find and threw it across the room, shattering it. 

For the rest of the night, neither of them came to his room, even when he continued to break things, creating a mess and filling the apartment with clattering noise. He thought it would make him feel better but it only left him feeling empty. Once again he was reminded how their father would school him on the weakness of displaying his emotions. 

Once he had no energy left, he slumped down against the wall of his room and sunk his head against his hands.

In the end, despite everything he went through, he was what his father always said he would be, weak.


End file.
